Is it unfair?

So I have just been driving back from seeing Olivia for the last time in a long while and on the journey home I had a lot of time to be left with my own thoughts (never good).

I was reflecting on my life and mostly my love life and all I kept thinking was how all of my ex's were now happy and with someone else whilst I was alone. Now the alone part does not bother me, what really bothers me is why do they get to be happy when each and every single one of them were not exactly lovely to me and all left me with scars I will never get rid of.

Is that fair? Why do they get to have what they want and where is the karma?

The other side I guess is I do not know what goes on behind closed doors and they could in fact be miserable. We can but hope :o)

Also I believe my Mr perfect is out there somewhere and the world has a plan for me to meet him one day and stick two fingers up to those arses that did me wrong!

Happy Saturday night guys. Hope whilst mine is filled with thoughts yours are filled with alcohol and dancing!

-x-

Nervous

So yesterday I went through what can only be classed as pre travelling stage fright!

It was sort of one of those moments when you suddenly go "Oh Lord what am I doing". I just kept thinking what if it isn't like the last time I went travelling and I don't end up meeting anyone, or I can't find work and have to come home.

However after speaking to Melissa she reasured me that what I was doing was the right thing and that I was going to have a great time. I guess I just hope I meet people like her and all the other people I met whilst travelling.

Anyway it is the weekend. I am going to forget all about the stress of work and just relax whilst trying to learn how to type on the smallest keyboard ever (I have my new tablet ready for travelling and I am trying it out right now)

Hope everyone has a great weekend and just remember if ever in doubt - try it anyway!

-x-

Stuart

So I told you I met a guy when I was the plane on the way to Spain well his name as the title explains was Stuart.

Now Stuart was an interesting character and pretty much from the moment we sat down he started speaking to me. Now I personally am not really one for idle chit chat however I could tell that Stuart really just wanted someone to talk to.

After we did the normal introductions he went on to tell me all about his life and how he was actually on his way to see his girlfriend who he was in a very long distance relationship with. Long story short he really cared about her and wanted to be with her but just couldn't see how it was going to work. He felt that the weekend was going to be make it or break it. I gave him the normal advice of if it is meant to be then bla bla bla but in all honesty I didn't really know what to think of the situation.

Whilst the realist in me was thinking - it will never work and better to end it now the romantic in me was really hoping it had a happy ending. Mostly I was just annoyed with Stuart. He was 37 and had done very little with his life. He seemed like the sort of person whose life was only complete if he was in a relationship and therefore hadn't found himself as a single person. I think I may have said this to him however if I am honest he did most of the talking.

Anyway I got off the plane thinking how I was so happy I was making the most of my life but also I realised that my life was not the life for everyone.

I never did find out what happened with Stuart but I am going to hope that whatever the outcome he is happy as he genuinely seemed to be a lovely guy!

-x-

And relax

So the last time I posted I was sat at the airport ready to head off on my mini adventure. Well today's post is brought to you from the comfort of my slightly small incredibly packed flight seat. Obviously by the time you read this I will be home as even in this day and age we are not allowed internet on planes.

When I said I was going to fall off the no drinking wagon in a dramatic way I was not lying. The weekend was spent day drinking, eating tapas and chatting with some genuinely lovely people.

Friday when I arrived after having to negotiate my way across half of Spain with very little knowledge of the local language I met up with the girls I was staying with and we cracked open beers and wine and caught up on everything that had been going on. It was great. We then went out but I was so tired from my early start that I left to go to bed early.

Saturday and Sunday were spent doing some site seeing and stopping every so often for a beer or two. The weather was ok so it was nice to sit outside and relax.

I have realised that my old roommate whilst works very hard has in fact a lovely life and one I may look into when I have finished my travels.

Anyway I better put my phone away before the stewardess thinks I am trying to send some sneaky texts and takes it away from me.

I cannot wait to tell you about the guy I met on the flight out here. He certainly was a character.
However for now I will leave you with a little thought.

Good things do not come to those who wait, they come to those to work for them and aspire to be the best they can be

xx

Its Madrid baby!

That's right people, I have finally broken away from work and am now currently sat at the airport waiting to fly to Spain.

I have to say I do love that about living in the UK. Not many people can say "Oh I am just popping over to Spain for the weekend" but us good old British can. We have so much on our door step that anyone who has never left the country should be ashamed of themselves.

Anyway off to Spain I head for a weekend of girl talk, alcohol and dancing. Might even try and throw a nice Spanish man into the mix too if I am lucky! If I haven't told you I am going to visit my old roommate which I am really excited about as I have missed her loads since she left.

Also I did it guys. I managed to go a whole 31 days without any alcohol or chocolate! I plan to fall off the wagon in a dramatic style later on tonight. I cannot wait!

Right I better sign off as I need to go and do the normal things you do when you are at an airport - duty free shopping!! Oh and try not to miss my flight.

Have a great weekend all

-x-

Wow what a week

I genuinely do not think I have ever been as busy or as stressed as what I have been this week. That teamed up with not drinking, not eating chocolate and not being to exercise has made me one very grumpy girl.

I am missing sex now too. You guys probably haven't been counting like me but it has been 6 months. 6 long hard months. To some this may not seem long but to me who barely went 2 weeks without it before it seems to feel like a lifetime. Although I moan I am not too bothered. If I look at some of my friends Olivia it has been 8 months, the super sidekick it has almost been 9 and my old room mate it has been a year. Christ one of my friends it has been years and I mean years. Anyway I guess what I am saying is I shouldn't moan too much and is it really all that important if I don't have it.

Guess it is better than sleeping around with randomers - or is it?!

-x-

The final goodbye to Mr FWB

So after the last 18 months of me writing this, Mr FWB has played a huge part of the story. Well today is going to be the last time he is mentioned and I am putting all that to bed.

At one point throughout the time I genuinely thought I may have loved him and I am not sure I have said that to anyone actually I do not think I have even admitted it to myself before now. However what I really think I was in love with was the thought of him. I was so in denial about his ways that I built him up in my head to be something he wasn’t and was never going to be. I dreamt of us being together but in that dream he was not a womanising untrustworthy fool. He was a gentleman who cared about me and treated me like a princess. Anyone who knows me and knows him knows that this was a very elaborate dream.

Anyway I found out at the weekend that I think him and his new girlfriend are living together and whilst at first this really stung and I couldn’t help thinking that why wasn’t I good enough I soon realised that in his eyes no one was going to be. This girlfriend is the new flavour of the month and I am sad to say that knowing him she won’t be the only flavour going around in his life.

On Sunday night I was still a little hurt about everything and then I went on twitter and had a little sneak peak at what he had been writing (come on I am a girl, we are allowed to snoop) and like a slap in the face I was brought back to down Earth with a bump over something he wrote. It was such a short little statement but it was so him. It was everything he was about and for once I was so thankful that I wasn’t with him. This is the first time I have genuinely felt like this and honestly believe I have escaped what would have been hell. Yesterday morning I woke up feeling like a weight had been lifted and I smiled. I was honestly happy.

So this is it. Mr FWB will never play a part in this blog again. Time to close the book on that chapter and start living my life for the future

And just on the off chance his girlfriend is reading this – I just want to say good luck because you are really going to need it

-x-