Another man

I have a little confession to make. It is a very very small one so do not get all excited.

There is another guy at work that I have my eye on and no for anyone who knows me who reads this I will not tell you who they are right now so don’t ask me!

Anyway it has been nice to not have my attention on Mr FWB and start trying to strut my stuff past someone else in the hope they notice me J

So far there hasn’t really been much communication between us but I plan to try and change that just have to work out the best approach. I believe he is single which is a good start so let’s see where I can take it.

I haven’t looked on the online dating for days. No one has contacted me but I think that is mostly down to me not having a picture on there. Not that I am a big headed person but I do think the moment I put a picture online I will start to receive interest. Maybe one day next week I will try that and let you know the results.

That is all I have to update on today so I will end it with saying tomorrow it is not only another day but also another month. If you are planning to change anything in your life tomorrow might be a good day to start. I know I going to!

-x-

A brighter future

This weekend was a very busy one and for once did not involve drinking. I stayed in Friday night but was up early Saturday to head to the gym, the skip, to do the weekly food shopping and then to town to meet Melissa to pick out our 80’s outfits for my birthday (more about that another time).

Saturday night involved Dinner at my parents which is always a fun one and then Sunday I went and did some sightseeing and more gym time.

As I am open and honest with what I write I will admit that I had mentioned to Mr FWB on Friday that I was free that night and if he fancied meeting up to let me know (insert embarrassed face). However seeing as I still have yet to hear from him I am going to take that as a sign that he didn’t want to. I do sense things have changed again between us and do not think it will be long before he tells me he has been seeing someone. My birthday is coming up soon and as he managed to destroy last years I had already vowed that I wouldn’t be going anywhere near him this year. I guess I may as well start that from now.

I mentioned in a recent post that I was planning to go to New Zealand to work. Well that has changed slightly and I am now heading to Australia. I have worked out the finances and I should be good to go around September time. It does just mean a lot of saying no to people and things. It will be hard but totally worth it in the end.

I have also decided to get a second job soon to get a bit more extra savings money.

I am really feeling more upbeat about the future the more the weeks go by. Before I was a little lost not knowing what was round the next corner but now I have a plan I feel safer if that makes sense.

Anyway I hope you all had a great weekend and I look forward to updating you on my progress as the weeks and months go on J

-x-

The online is back

But will it last?

Yep that’s right I am back on the online dating again. Only to have a little browse around the area and see if there are any potentials out there.

I haven’t paid to sign up this time so I cannot see anyone’s pictures. I am not sure if this a good or a bad thing. Good as I cannot judge, bad as I cannot check them out physically (I know, I know – shallow).

Anyway this won’t be my only way to try out dating but until I think of other options this is going to be it for now. Any suggestions are welcomed.

Obviously part of me feels quite selfish trying to date when I know I won’t be in the country come the end of the year but I have technically (I don’t count FWB) been single for 4 years and it would nice to maybe have a little Valentine this year. Ok I know that is very optimistic given Valentine’s day is in about 3 weeks but you never know.

Keep your fingers crossed for me J

-x-

An update on the group

I realised whilst I was sitting here trying to think about what to write that I haven’t given you an update on the group in a while. So here goes,

Olivia

Well, well, well this naughty little minx confessed to me when she came to visit that she has been having a secret affair with someone we met whilst we were travelling and has been since the middle of last year. She didn’t tell me sooner as she was worried what he might think about people knowing. Now I know this guy and what I know about him I guess I like. As they live far apart from each other they have been meeting up every 6 weeks or so for a “date” night. They don’t just have sex but that is pretty much how it ends. Now she likes him and from the way she was talking it is obvious that she likes him quite a lot but I am not sure what his intentions are. They are both young and I hate to say it but I think he may be using her a little. I have told her to ask where she stands but only if she is really ready for the answer. I just hope when she does finally ask that she doesn’t get hurt.

Dana

I am shocked to say this but Dana is still going strong with the guy she is with. It is even Facebook official so it must be serious. I was supposed to be out with her this weekend but due to other arrangements I cannot make it. It is a shame as I was looking forward to catching up on her goings on. I do know her ex is still in contact and I really hope nothing comes of that as he really was no good for her at all.

Melissa

Oh Melissa. Poor sex starved Melissa. I am still trying to find her a man but I think she is just way too picky. Plus as I said before, where do you find them? Anyway aside from the lack of man time she is doing ok. Planning her next adventure which I am very very jealous about and taking one day at a time.

Steven

This will probably be the last time I mention Steven in a post again. We do not talk. We live together but that is as far as it goes. It is a shame but it has been like this for so long now that I am not bothered anymore.

Me

Well you know what is happening with myself. Mr FWB seems to have perked up again and has been contacting me but I am still on my mission to meet other people so I am not really giving him that much time

I think I have now covered everyone. Of course if anything exciting happens in their lives you will be the first to find out about it – whether they like it or not J

-x-

Dating

I have been watching the programme “The Undateables” recently and for anyone who doesn’t know it is basically a show about people with different disabilities who are dating. Each week they follow people who explain how they find it difficult to date whether it be because of physical differences  or because of mental issues.

The show is happy/sad to watch. You feel bad for them because they cannot find a date but then you feel happy for them when a dating agency finds them one. I would also like to mention that on two occasions when the men have arrived for their dates they have taken flowers with them. How lovely and perfectly old fashioned. That has never happened to me. I am lucky if I find a man who wants to pay for half the dinner.

Anyway it got me thinking about dating and how you first judge a person on how they look followed by a couple of minutes of chit chat. I am guilty of doing this and I do not think it is right. You cannot tell a lot about a person on appearance and as they say never judge a book by its cover.

I have decided that I would like to start dating again but I am not sure how to go about doing it. I tried online and it didn’t really work for me but what other options are there?

After watching the programme what we are missing in this day and age is real dating agencies. Ones where real people actually match couples and it isn’t just done by a computer with no emotions.

So with this in mind I am setting up a dating agency (haha ok this is just an idea but you never know it could happen) J

It is however definitely time for me to get back on that horse. Now where to start??

-x-

What a weekend

Oh it was brilliant. I had soo much fun with the girls coming down and so sad it is over now. It is true that all good things must come to an end.

I will start with Friday night. The girls finally arrived around 7ish and it didn’t take long till we started on the wine. We also thought it would be funny to put our Laos tubing outfits on (google it) and eat the Thai green curry I made. Once that was finished we made ourselves some buckets (basically little sand buckets that you put alcohol in and drink with a straw) and danced around the room like loons. Brilliant.

Saturday I went to get my hair cut and ended up walking out of there looking like a poodle and £45 worse off. Oh well lesson learned. Whilst I did that the girls relaxed at home preparing themselves for that nights antics.

So Saturday night arrived and we dressed ourselves up, ate pizza, drunk some more buckets and then headed to town.

We met up with a couple of people I work with and danced the night away. Literally all night. At one point we even had the whole pub watching us do a dance that we used to do when we were in Laos (and not in a omg look at those girls, kind of way).

On Sunday we all sat around talking about what a great night we had and how we should do it more often.

Even better at no point over the weekend did I speak to Mr FWB and I wasn’t bothered one little bit J

I hope everyone else had a great a weekend as what I did

-x-

Emotions

Lately I have been having an issue with my emotions or more truthfully I haven’t been but other people have.

I do not really cry at films and recently I have watched a couple that yes I have found sad but no I have not cried. This isn’t to say that I have never cried at a film I just do not do it often.

I am not sure what this says about me as a person. I do not think I am heartless and cold hearted like the comments that have been thrown my way but when everyone else finds things sad (even some guys) I am not sure it is right.

I was thinking about it when I got home last night (I went to see a sad film at the cinema) and was trying to work out if there was something wrong with me. I suppose I just can’t emotionally attach myself with the characters in the story even if like last nights it was based on true events. Maybe the past bad things that have happened to me have made me tougher with my feelings.

For no real reason when I got home last night I decided to read my travelling book. This was a day by day account of what happened when I was off seeing the world and funnily enough there was an entry about S21 in Cambodia. For anyone who doesn’t know, this is where a lot of people were held and tortured. Anyway, I had wrote about my experience in going to see it and in there I spoke about how the people around me were getting upset (which I understand) but how I couldn’t really feel anything about it. I guess these things just do not feel that real to me.

Anyway this was just a little post to get these things off my chest. I just hope I am not broken L

-x-

Just a funny mood

Today I am in a funny mood. Actually I have been in a funny mood since yesterday morning. It is hard to describe exactly what I mean as it isn’t a bad mood and it isn’t a good mood, it is just a mood.

I think it has a bit to do with Mr FWB, a bit to do with my thumb hurting (no idea why) and a bit to do with my bed being broken so I can’t sleep well.

I stayed at Mr FWB’s on Saturday night and it was all really strange. I cooked him dinner, which I have never done for a guy before and the conversation was ok but just a little awkward. He asked if I was going to stay the night. I replied asking him if he wanted me to and he said yes but the next morning you could cut the atmosphere with a knife.

I left there feeling really confused and like someone who had just had a one night stand. It felt a little like “Oh so um bye then” knowing you weren’t ever going to see each other again. The difference with this being we will see each other again and are supposed to be friends. I haven’t spoken to him since though however I haven’t contacted him so he can’t just be blamed for that one.

Other than that my weekend was pretty uneventful. I went to the gym Friday night and then Saturday morning. I have lost 1.5kg’s so far which I think is good. Only another 5kg’s to go till my goal weight.

I do have some very very exciting news though. Olivia is coming to visit me this weekend with another girl we met travelling called Sarah. They are coming Friday night and we have decided to reminisce about our travelling days and have a Thai night.

Saturday night we are heading off into town for dinner and drinks and I cannot wait!!

I hope you all had great weekends and are not in a funny mood like me this Monday morning!

-x-

I have a plan!

So for a few weeks now people have been asking me what I plan to do when Melissa goes off travelling and Steven goes off where ever he ends up going and up until last night I had been telling them I didn’t know and was just going to go with it.

Well that all seems to have changed slightly

The new year saw a lot of sad people who I met travelling reminiscing about better times and saying how they wished they could turn back to that time. One of these people in particular was Olivia. The poor girl was very down in the dumps.

Anyway yesterday we were talking about life etc and together came up with a great idea. We were going to move to New Zealand and work.

This year!

We would have done Australia however she has already had her working visa for there and I am not sure if you know or not but it is a onetime only thing. She hasn’t however done New Zealand. I still plan to do Australia but I can do a year in NZ and then head over there.

The plan is still in the discussing part but we have both agreed it will be this year that we will go. We both want to have some fun and do a little travelling first so we may do that for a couple of months before we get there but we will see.

Now comes the really fun part of saving again. At least as I have a goal I have a target. I will be more than likely moving back with my parents when our lease is up so I can save a lot more which isn’t ideal but I am lucky to have that option.

I am very very excited about this plan and know I am going to be wishing the next few months away until we can get on that plane but let the saving and planning commence. Ahhhh!

-x-